Like is Such a Strong Word

Many years ago, I was on a first date in Richmond, Virginia.  After a nice lunch on Cary Street, I decided to take the young lady (not named Sonya) to Byrd Park.  I know my Richmond friends and family will agree that on a nice spring day that is one of the nicest places to be in the City by the James.

The radio station we were listening to in the car started playing a Luther Vandross song. As we listened along, my date who I only knew casually to this point turned to me and said, "I love you."

My mind raced, my sweat glands went into overdrive as I tried to come up with the right answer in milli-seconds.  I looked back and I said, "Me too."  

I know it seemed like a cop out to not go all the way, but remember this was a first date.  You don't make a leap like that on the first date.  What had I done to deserve such an outpouring of emotion?  

At that point, I wasn't ready to commit to the "L-word". Well at least not that one.  I would reserve that one for a later date and time.

Just as quickly as the moment came,  it subsided and we returned to listening to the master of love songs.  Then I got the clue that maybe my hearing wasn't quite right.  After the young lady continued to talk about the singers others songs, I realized that what she actually said earlier was, "I Love Luther."

Bare with me, because I have always wanted to put that story in writing and now I have.  My point to all of this is that there has been a cosmic shift in "L-words".  It seems to me that now, especially among millennials, "Like" has become all powerful.

I started innocently enough with social media outlets like Facebook.  When you see something nice, gently use the index finger on your right hand to press the left mouse button - "click".  

Eventually, it evolved into any overall referendum on the "SANCTITY OF MANKIND".  That's yelling I know but ask yourself if all of this isn't a little over done?

One like becomes two likes and so fourth and so on until you get a million likes.  Then people, some with no discernable skills, become famous and in some cases become quite wealthy.

Of course, there may be some people who might say that I built a 30-plus year career in broadcasting without a lot of talent either. So, I am not throwing stones.  And my concern is not for the folks who garner the lion's share of likes.

My concern is for the ones who don't.  What about the people who broadcast to the world their greatest joys and accomplishments, only to have them come back like a boomerang that misses it's mark. 

Are they judging their joy and in some cases their value to the world by the number of likes or the lack  of "likes".

On another fateful ride, this time taking my daughter, Mikaela to school, I ripped off a "Coach Craft" classic.  I encouraged her to make sure in her pursuit of a career in musical theater or acting to not do it for the applause.  I said, "Don't do it to see your name in lights. Don't do it so everyone will know your name and say how great you are."

I added that, "Even if you get all those things, it will be empty."

I maintain that like is such a strong word in this day and age but love is still stronger. More importantly it stands the test of time.

I encouraged Mikaela to instead of falling in love with the likes, fall in love with the work itself.  Take stock of the fact that you are doing something that 99.9 percent of the people will never attempt and even if they do an even smaller percentage will put in the work necessary to succeed.

Instead of counting on the world for praise and approval,  give it to yourself.  My advice: take a break from  Instagram, Twitter, Tik Tok or even Facebook .  Instead look in the mirror and give the person looking back a smile and two thumbs up.  Heck, if you got them, give four thumbs up.

More importantly, look that person in the eye and say what I didn't say on that first date - "I love you."